


indifference/passion

by miracleboysatori



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Character Study, Getting Together, Kawanishi is tired and Tendou is relentless, M/M, Shiratorizawa, i guess? If you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16320977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miracleboysatori/pseuds/miracleboysatori
Summary: Halfway into the school year and these occasional walks together after practice have somehow evolved into regular requests from Satori to hang out.Taichi doesn’t understand two things: one, how this started in the first place, and two, how in the world ‘hanging out’ even works when you’re meant to do it with someone who’s so drastically different from you.





	indifference/passion

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for day one of Tendou Rarepair Week~ (a day late, but I'm drowning in commitments and deadlines right now ;; )
> 
> I know I write 90% Ushiten, but I actually have a lot of Tendou ships (many of which I'm also hoping to write this week) that I have a lot of passion for, and Kawaten is definitely one of them. 
> 
> I wrote this after laying in bed last night, sometime after midnight? It's not as thorough or in-depth as it could be but it was really nice to dive into Taichi's mind for once and look into how he might feel about Satori, how his feelings for him might develop, etc. He's a super interesting character, and easily my third favorite after Tendou and Ushijima!
> 
> This is something I could potentially develop into a university fic at some point, if people like it enough. Especially since it didn't end with a concrete relationship, but in my mind it would take them a bit to start dating anyway. But either way, it was nice to write something spontaneously and just... not stress about perfection, haha. I may even change the title if I think of something better, but for now, I hope whoever gives it a shot enjoys it! ♡
> 
> This is un-beta'd, just read over once or twice with my own eyes. I tend to miss things, but I will read this over in a few days and try to locate any mistakes I missed! That being said, I apologize in advance for any mistakes!!

Taichi doesn’t feel strongly about much.

Well, besides strongly knowing that he has a constant need for two things: sleep and food. Other than that, he thinks he’s a pretty neutral and chill guy.

Looking at him, some might assume he feels strongly about maintaining his physical appearance, picking out the perfect outfit on his days off from school, making perfect grades in every class. Truthfully, though, none of these things matter all that much to him. Most of it just kinda… happens naturally.

Is he blessed? Maybe. Kenjirou likes to remind him on a daily basis that his lack of a need to study for hours every single night is incredibly _annoying_ and definitely _unfair_. And Eita? Well, he asks him fairly often how he manages to get his hair so perfectly balanced between bedhead and put together. Eita never believes him when he says it’s literally just bedhead. Nothing else.

So, Taichi thinks he’s a pretty go-with-the-flow guy. Very laid back and calm. Never the first one to volunteer to attend social gatherings, usually preferring to sit in his room or just take a nap.

And that’s why he finds it rather ironic, and honestly exhausting, that the teammate whose place he’ll be taking next year is so completely opposite of him.

Taichi likes Satori, really. He’s got loads of respect for him and admires his commitment and passion. But does he understand it? No. As soon as he’d been told he’d be replacing Satori as main middle blocker once the latter graduated, he’d honestly felt like laughing, if he’d had the energy for it. It had to be a joke. 

But it wasn’t.

And, Taichi quickly learned, shadowing Tendou Satori, Guess Monster, self-proclaimed Miracle Boy Satori, didn’t end at just taking his place next year. Oh no, it went much further than that, and Taichi wasn’t prepared for it.

**\-----**

“Soooo~!” an enthusiastic, and rather aggressive, noodly arm is thrown across Taichi’s shoulders and nearly causes him to drop his gym bag on the sidewalk, “Whose excited to be in the starting lineup alongside his favorite senpai?”

Taichi, recovering from the initial shock (though he honestly thinks he should be used to it by now) clears his throat and readjusts his bag’s shoulder strap, “It’s… pretty cool.”

Satori waits a few seconds, blinks, continues in step next to Taichi but doesn’t remove his arm from his shoulders, “That’s it?”

“I guess,” Taichi gives a lazy shrug. 

Satori makes a loud buzzing sound, directly in Taichi’s ear, “Sorry, incorrect! What you _meant_ to say was that you’re _super_ excited to get to spend even _more_ time with your senpai!”

If Taichi had known that shadowing Satori would mean suddenly becoming the number one candidate for his relentless, though good-natured, teasing, he’s not sure he would have taken that offer to attend Shiratorizawa in the first place… Or maybe he should have been playing as wing spiker all along. After all, playing under Wakatoshi or Reon couldn’t possibly be _this_ annoying or energy-sapping.

“Earth to Taichi~” Satori has removed his arm from Taichi’s shoulders now, but instead he’s walking a few steps in front of him, backwards so he can still face him, and waving his arms around wildly, “Don’t tell me you’re tired! Kenjirou says you nap all the time, is that true?”

“Yeah,” Taichi nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “I like sleeping.”

“Eh?!” Satori’s eyes go comically wide and he nearly trips on a crack in the sidewalk, “More than you _have_ to?! Sleep is so boring! You can do other stuff instead, like watching anime, reading manga, binge-watching conspiracy videos at three in the morning, eating candy, going out for ice cream --”

He keeps going, listing activity after activity, but Taichi starts to tune him out. How can one person have this much energy? Or want to do so many of these things all the time? Does he _ever_ sleep? If not then that would explain the slightly concerning and very dark eye bags.

Thankfully, Satori’s listing of activities has transitioned into a very in-depth description of a video he once saw. Something about how pillows are made? Taichi’s not sure. All he knows is that when he hears the word ‘pillow’ he can feel himself aching more and more for his own bed.

**\-----**

Satori likes to latch on to people after practice, Taichi notices.

A few months into his second year at Shiratorizawa, he begins to realize that his choice is never predictable. Satori seems to consider himself extremely close with all his teammates. Taichi won’t disagree, especially in terms of the third years. Conversation seems to flow pretty easily between him and the rest of his fellow third years, which is surprising for some of them, notably Wakatoshi. But it’s easy for him with the underclassmen too. Tsutomu lights up like a christmas tree whenever Satori wants to speak to him, so it’s not surprising that their talks go very smoothly (and very loudly). Hell, it even looks fairly easy for him to have a conversation with Kenjirou, even if it’s essentially all banter and nothing else.

Taichi doesn’t feel the same. 

On the nights when Satori chooses to tag along with Taichi after practice, he notices that the conversation is always one-sided. It’s not that he doesn’t like Satori, that’s definitely not the case at all. It’s just that they don’t have anything in common. 

“Didja watch that video I told ya about last week?” Satori is asking, skipping along the sidewalk, bag bouncing loudly against his hip.

“Video?” Taichi furrows his brows. He doesn’t remember anything about a video. Well… he doesn’t remember any of what Satori said last week, truthfully.

“Taichiiiii,” Satori whines, dramatically leaning forward and making a defeated noise, “were you even listening?” he smirks, doesn’t wait for an answer, “Seriously, ya gotta watch it, it’s real spooky. I’ll text you the link, _again_.”

Seconds later and Taichi’s phone is dinging in his pocket. Meanwhile, Satori has moved on to the next topic: the different kinds of bird calls he hears while walking to his classes every day.

Despite this happening for several months now, Taichi still hasn’t learned how to keep up, and he still doesn’t understand why Satori gives him the time of day in the first place.

**\-----**

Halfway into the school year and these occasional walks together after practice have somehow evolved into regular requests to hang out.

Taichi doesn’t understand two things: one, how this started in the first place, and two, how in the world ‘hanging out’ even works when you’re meant to do it with someone who’s so drastically different from you.

Satori is a social being, extroverted as they come, and Taichi doesn’t know how to hold a conversation for longer than a minute because his battery is usually too depleted to continue. Yet again he has to ask himself: how did this even happen? Surely Satori would rather hang out with Hayato? Tsutomu? Eita?

But no. The requests are becoming more frequent and much more difficult to ignore or come up with excuses to decline. Sure, if Taichi didn’t like Satori, he’d just tell him he’s not interested, but he _does_ like Satori. 

It’s just complicated, that’s all. But for a pretty uncomplicated guy like Taichi, that’s the most frustrating thing in the world. 

So, after finally accepting a request to watch a scary movie together in Satori’s dorm, he asks the question that’s been plaguing his mind for months now.

“Why do you want to hang out with me?”

Satori, sitting cross-legged on his bed next to Taichi, underneath a makeshift blanket fort roughly held together by duct tape and string, blinks awkwardly, staring right at his kouhai, “Huh?”

“Um. Why do you want to hang out with me?” Taichi repeats, a bit louder this time.

“Nah, I heard ya,” Satori drums his fingers against his legs.

“Is that a weird question to ask? Sorry, it’s just,” Taichi sighs, reaches back to fiddle with the hair at the nape of his neck, “I don’t really get it. Cause I’m not… fun? Not like you.”

Well, that’s definitely a thick and awkward silence filling the room right now.

“You think I’m fun?” Satori’s expression changes, his mouth splits into a grin and he gently nudges Taichi in the ribs, “Taichi said I’m _fun_ ~"

“Well -- I mean --” Taichi stumbles. Is Satori fun? Sure, he’s exhausting and Taichi still isn’t sure where he gets all that energy and enthusiasm, but… 

“S’okay,” Satori sits up straight, gives Taichi’s leg a strong pat, “I like hanging out with you, Taichi! Even if you think you’re boring or we’re too different, I think you’re cool. I’m gonna play the movie now.”

And so he does, leaving Taichi to swim through his thoughts, which he’s starting to wonder if Satori actually _can_ read.

**\-----**

Losing to Karasuno was a shocker that none of the team expected. Taichi can’t help feeling at least partially responsible, as he’d been standing on that court and failed to block that final ball.

Failed to carry the torch that Satori had been proudly wielding before him. 

Despite this, he knows that he’ll still be replacing Satori in the coming year, knows that he’ll be responsible to fix his failings and to right what went wrong during that game. And when he sees the disappointment on his teammates’ faces -- on Satori’s face -- he hates that he doesn’t feel more passion and drive to make it happen.

What’s it like to feel so much passion for things?

Surely Satori is disappointed in him, he thinks. Surely he’s lost that connection he’s built with him and he’s lost the trust he’s placed in him. That must be gone, left with the ball that whizzed past his arms and decided the fate of the game.

So, Taichi avoids Satori like the plague for a while. He rushes out of the gym at the end of the day and gets to practice so last minute that nobody has a chance to speak with him. Kenjirou nags him, tells him that, now that he’ll be vice captain, he needs to speak with all the graduating third years.

Especially Satori.

Taichi knows this, but in the past when he’s faced with problems, his method of dealing with them has always been the same: _not_ dealing with them, and sleeping instead.

But, as he should have learned by now, Satori is impossible to avoid for too long. 

He comes knocking on Taichi and Kenjirou’s shared dorm after practice one night. Conveniently, or maybe _not_ so conveniently, Kenjirou is in the library, studying for a big test coming up. Taichi considers ignoring the knocking, but he knows Satori is smart enough to guess he wouldn’t be anywhere but here after practice.

He’s too good at reading and understanding people, it’s almost annoying.

Begrudgingly, Taichi opens the door, greeting Satori with a short nod. 

Satori pushes inside, quickly making himself at home and sitting cross-legged on Taichi’s bed. Taichi closes the door, prepares himself for a chew-out or, at the very least, a rundown of everything he’d done wrong and all the things he’s gonna _have_ to fix by next year. Or worse, a declaration that he won’t be taking Satori’s spot next year.

“I brought something for ya,” Satori rummages in his gym bag, tongue peeking out from between his lips, “been trying to give it to you after practice for a while but you always sneak away. Finals are rough this time of year, huh?”

“Uh… yeah,” Taichi shrugs. Does Satori really think he’s been rushing back to his dorm to study for finals? Maybe he doesn’t know him as well as he thought…

Satori pauses, hand still shoved inside his bag as he stares at Taichi with a pensive expression, “Have you been avoiding me, Taichi?”

Oh. Well. That’s certainly a question being asked right at this very second that he can’t possibly ignore or get away from.

“I… no? Well, kinda,” Taichi rests his hand on the nape of his neck, playing with his hair as he avoids Satori’s frighteningly perceptive stare.

“C’mere,” Satori pats the space next to him on the bed, “talk to me, Taichi. I can tell somethin’ is up. You’ve been weird ever since that game against Karasuno.”

Taichi, realizing it’s easier to avoid Satori’s stare if he’s sitting next to him, obliges. He doesn’t, however, immediately answer. Surely if he’s honest about everything, Satori will be upset or think less of him or worse, have his feelings hurt.

“Hey, you know it’s not your fault, right?” Satori’s voice is uncharacteristically soft, supportive. It makes Taichi’s breath catch in his throat and his head slowly turns to face Satori. Even his expression is gentle right now.

“Cause, well,” Satori sighs, “I remember when I used to blame myself for losses. Haven’t done that for a long time, but it’s not a good way of thinking. It’s a team effort, Taichi, it’s just as much _my_ fault as it is yours. Hell, it’s just as much _everyone’s_ fault. You don’t get to shoulder all of it,” he reaches forward and pokes Taichi in the middle of the forehead, smirking, “you gotta share with the rest of us, ‘kay? Let’s all suffer together, as a team. It’s more fun that way.”

Oddly enough, the sentiment is… helping? And even more odd, Taichi doesn’t find himself minding that forehead poke. In fact, he feels a strange light feeling in the pit of his stomach and almost wishes Satori would do it again.

“Anyway,” Satori returns to rummaging in his bag, yanking out a jersey, “I wanted to give you this. And yes, before you ask, I _did_ wash it. But honestly my sweat doesn’t smell that bad, don’t listen to Eita if he tells you otherwise.”

Taichi takes the jersey, unfolds it and recognizes it immediately by the bold ‘5’ on the front. 

“Really?” He stares at it for a few seconds, then gently rests it in his lap, “You don’t want to keep it?”

“Nah,” Satori shakes his head, waves a hand dismissively, “I’d prefer to, like, pass the baton, I guess. That way when I come to your games I can be like, ‘Hey! That’s my jersey on #5! I taught him everything I knew! He learned from the best!’”

_Come to his games…_ Taichi feels that light sensation in his stomach again.

“You’ll come to our games? Next year?”

“‘Course!” Satori scoffs, as if the answer should be obvious, “I can’t wait to see you play next year! Take back that trophy and teach those birds a lesson, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Taichi feels an easy smile cross his lips, feels a burning in the pit of his stomach.

If he’s not mistaken, that burning is something like passion.

**\-----**

Just days before the third years graduate, the entire team decides to go get ice cream together. In the past, Taichi probably would have tried to wiggle his way out of things like this, but oddly enough he’s starting to enjoy spending time with the entire team now.

Course, it could’ve also been because Satori made the plans and _insisted_ that every single person be there, no excuses. Even went to knock on every single one of their dorm rooms until he’d rounded everybody up.

The outing is nice, though a bit too emotional for Taichi’s liking. How many times has Tsutomu cried into every single third years’ arms now? Taichi has lost track, but admires the patience of all his senpai very much. And, of course, he’ll miss them too.

On the walk back to campus, Taichi sticks towards the back of the group. Generally he’d walk next to Kenjirou, but recently the future captain has been spending a lot of his free time with Wakatoshi. Taichi isn’t surprised, even enjoys that this is the case; more fuel to tease Kenjirou with is always nice.

“Sooo, you gonna miss me?”

Taichi jumps. He didn’t even notice that Satori had fallen back and started walking next to him now. His hand flies up to the nape of his neck, “You like scaring people, huh?”

“Maybe!” Satori grins, somehow keeps staring at Taichi and walking with a side-step without falling flat on his face, “But! You didn’t answer the question!”

“You surprised me,” Taichi shrugs, “but yeah, of course I’ll miss you. Still got a couple days, though.”

“I didn’t really need to ask,” Satori smirks, “I already knew you would anyway.”

“How’s that?”

“I’ve got you figured out, Taichi,” Satori reaches out, pokes him in the forehead.

“‘Kay,” Taichi raises an eyebrow.

“Basically, when you get nervous, you put your hand on your neck, just like that,” Satori demonstrates while Taichi quickly removes his hand from his own neck, “No! You didn’t have to stop! It’s cute! Predictable, but cute! Anyway, you also don’t like to make eye contact when you’re nervous. And you kinda slouch, a lot, and of course you --”

“I get it!” Taichi interrupts, feeling extremely and uncomfortably self-aware now but also… strangely and pleasantly surprised that Satori’s been paying this much attention to everything he does, “You’re scary.”

Satori, clearly pleased with himself, throws both hands behind his head and walks with more confidence, “Yeah, but you like me anyway.”

Taichi does. Maybe, quite possibly, a lot more than he had at the start of this year, but he really does.

“Jin tells me you’re nervous about being vice captain?” Satori’s tone has shifted now, more serious and concerned. It’s a side Taichi doesn’t see often but always appreciates.

“Yeah,” Taichi keeps his answer simple, though his mind is swimming with concerns and questions. Kenjirou will be great as captain, no question about that, but Taichi? As vice? He’s just not sure he’s cut out for it. Not sure if he has enough drive or control over his teammates.

“Well, you shouldn’t be. You’re super important to this team, Taichi. And the first-years love you! They think you’re so cool! I always hear them talking about how mysterious and chill you are,” he laughs, “It’s actually kinda funny when I tell them you’re actually just a big ball of anxiety with really bad allergies and a real weakness for strawberry flavored candy.”

“You tell them that?” Taichi pauses in his tracks, suddenly very anxious about this.

“I’m _kidding_ , Taichi,” Satori laughs again, reaches out to tug on Taichi’s arm and urge him to continue walking, “I’ve only told Shibata. And you and I both know the words I say to him don’t really process, just go through one ear and right out the other. He’s too busy being scared of me.”

Taichi has to laugh at that.

“Seriously, though,” Satori voice is calm again, “you’re great. Can’t wait to see you wear that #5 and be a good, supportive vice captain.”

“Thanks.”

Satori grins, “Yeah! Plus, if you _are_ slacking, I’m coming to the games anyway. I’m gonna see and I’m gonna yell at you from the stands, ‘kay? I’ll make sure you straighten up.”

“They’ll kick you out,” Taichi smiles with amusement at the thought of Satori being carried out of a gymnasium, still yelling, “Either that or coach Washijou will personally go up there and tell you to knock it off.”

“Worth it,” Satori shrugs, “I’ll get to see that nervous hand-on-your-neck thing again,” he demonstrates, mimicking Taichi’s lazy expression.

“How do you even pick up on these things?” Taichi asks, genuinely curious.

“Easy,” Satori ends his impression, shifts back into being himself as he skips along the sidewalk with his hands shoved in his pockets, “I pay _reeeaaal_ close attention to people that interest me,” he winks.

Taichi would be lying if he didn’t find the wink strangely charming, or the statement that Satori’s interested in him quite flattering. And sure, maybe he blushes a little bit and maybe his hand goes back up to the nape of his neck. And yeah, Satori probably notices with those eagle eyes and frighteningly aware perceptive skills. But Taichi doesn’t mind too much. He’s starting to get used to Satori and everything that makes him so… unapologetically _him_.

And hey, even if Taichi still considers himself a pretty laid back guy who doesn’t feel too strongly about a lot of things, he’s starting to think he could learn a thing or two from a guy like Satori. It’s unfortunate that he’s only just realizing mere days before his senpai will be leaving this school, but judging by the way Satori’s still walking next to him, consciously (or not) touching his arm, talking his ear off as if he’s not leaving in a couple days, hell, even regularly texting him when they _aren't_ hanging out...

Somehow he thinks this is only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to reach out to me on twitter, I'd be honored if you wanted to talk to me! (esp about tendou, or shiratorizawa in general!) ♡
> 
> art twitter: [tendouaf](http://www.twitter.com/tendouaf)  
> twitter: [ushitentxt](http://www.twitter.com/ushitentxt) (I'm mostly active here right now! Please come talk to me~)  
> tumblr: [tendou-satori](http://www.tendou-satori.tumblr.com)  
> art blog: [kat-doodles](http://www.kat-doodles.tumblr.com)


End file.
